“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.  I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.  The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning.  I keep on swallowing.”  C.S. Lewis

Grief & Loss


When I started out as a young nurse, I thought so differently about loss and grief.  Mostly it meant death to me, however I have come to know that one can feel loss and grief for many other reasons.  How we deal with our feelings is so important.  


In my job, I have always been a good listener and honored what the patient said and how they felt.  Being so young, it was hard to understand how one feels as they age, and how we come to some kind of terms regarding death and loss.  


Like most things in life, how we deal with loss and grief becomes a part of our lifestyle.  I have had a lot of experience with death in my professional life as well as my personal life.  As we learn and experience life, it teaches us where our beliefs and focus really are.  I have gained a stronger faith and belief system along this journey that sustains me to continue helping in hospice and in my personal life.  I feel deeply and deal with things as they come up.  


Loss and grief is not only in the form of death.  It can be experienced with anything from losing a job, moving, a marriage, a friendship, or any situation that feels like a loss to you.  Loss is a very individual experience.  Everyone experiences and deals with loss in their own way.  It is important to honor how you feel no matter what that feeling is.  


Now, I believe everything happens for a reason.  I have a strong faith and believe our spirits never die, but we transition to another plane, our energy never fading.  I look forward to seeing my loved ones again, in it’s time.  I miss them being human, but I feel them in my heart.  It took some time, but I am happy where I am today.

I had an experience that was devastating to me in 2007 when I lost my younger sister, Vicky.  Through a strong faith and my family and friends, I made it to where I am now.  I want to continue helping people deal with whatever comes along, and with Reiki I can do that.  I have helped many people cross over and have talked to a lot of people regarding their thoughts and faith on loss and grief.  We are all in this life together and we all play a part in helping others through whatever they are going through.  


This expands out to our pets as well.  I had an experience of putting my sweet dog Ginger to sleep about 5 years ago.  I did not like that feeling of making the decision.  Part of my vision is to create an animal hospice.  My hope is to honor each animal and let their lives end naturally.  Peacefully. 


All of our experiences add to our lives and create who we are as we evolve.  It is never ending, and my hope is to continue to learn and adjust my life to take the best care of myself that I can, and also help others that ask.  

Life is wonderful and the world is a beautiful place.


  After losing my only sister Vicky in 2007, I           was inspired to create this pendant.


   A FRISTER is a friend that is like a sister.           Someone that is so close she feels like                                         family.  


The pendant is angel wings that bring half of  your heart and half of your FRISTER’S heart together.  It is bonded in friendship and love  with a tear drop shaped piece of lapis lazuli.  


   All the pendants have been charged with                                      Reiki!


   They are made of either brass or sterling                                     silver.


 Fristers is a registered trademark of Sandra                                  Toles

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”    Norma Cousins